Day 53

How is it that your emotions can be so conflicting? Today me and Sean went to Xhitam's (my neighbor) house and visited with her, her husband, and his brother. Before we left, Xhitam took a ornament off of her Christmas tree and gave it to me and told me to put it on my tree in America so i wouldn't forget her. I want her to know the Christ of Christmas so badly. She says she is going to be sad when i leave... and so will i. I am so excited to come home and see my family... but at the same time I don't see how i am going to leave here... and leave these relationships. The reason i can leave is because i know that Salvation is of the Lord... not of me. I have plans to meet for the second time with another girl, Reena. Please pray for these women. i am so inadequate! I was speaking to a friend today about how i don't understand why my zeal for the Lord and evangelism isn't like it was when i was first saved. I had no fear to evangelize to anyone! I know how horrible of a sin it is to fear man. And I know that I am called to fear the Lord. I have talked to these women about Jesus.... but I havne't pleaded with them. Elzleen- my sweet accountability partner... I need your wisdom here! Again... Salvation is of the Lord!
Anyway- Sean preached at one church today and Walid preached at another. I stayed in Beirut with Isaiah. They both said that the Lord gave them grace. My time here was good. Just time in the Word and time with my son. Plus I had some food ready for the guys when they came home.....which was a good thing because they were stuck in holiday traffic for 2 1/2 hours! Isaiah is closer and closer to crawling. Today i thought he had it! He is soooo close! He just can't quite get moving forward! Also- for the past week or so he has been saying "dadadadada". I forgot to blog it when he started doing it... but Sean loves it of course! By the way... Jen- how much should a 7 month old eat? Isaiah is a pig! He is getting so big! Cuter everyday!