Bittersweet....

   Just wanted to let you know that we haved landed in the States. Travel was a bit harder than the trip to Lebanon, but the Lord was gracious. We were so glad to be able to lay Isaiah down in his bed after 28 hours of traveling. He did so well.
    As I sit writing this, there is such a sadness in my heart. Though I am excited about being with family, especially for Isaiah.... Lebanon was home for those short ten weeks. There are people that I love there.... people that do not know Jesus.  There are also brothers and sisters in Christ that truly are family to us.  The hardest part is not knowing what the Lord's will is... will I ever see them again? The believers I know that we will meet around the Throne of God to sing and worship together once again.  But my heart is so heavy for those that do not yet know Christ. I pray that my Father would give me the grace to completely entrust my heart and mind to the will of my Loving Savior.... He is such a merciful God and such a patient Lord. He abounds in steadfast Love. His will is perfect and I am His, bought with a precious price. His Life paid the ransom for my sin and now He has me... heart, mind, and soul. "Return to rest, O my soul..... for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you."

Day 69

Well- it's only 10 am, but I won't have much time to write later. Between packing, giving Isaiah a bath, and loading the car... today will be pretty busy. We are gonna try to get to bed early because we have to leave for the airport at 3am. Please pray for our travels. It will take about 24 hours to get home. On the way here Isaiah was so good. Please pray that the trip won't be stressful for him and that he will rest well. Thank you for all your prayers.

Day 68

Well- Today was our final church service in Tyre for this trip. Sean preached. Then we had to say goodbye to Said, Hanan, and the kids, as well as Mahmoot and some of the Palestinian children. We try to make it easier by thinking that we will be back... but we don't know what the Lord wills at this time. After  church we had lunch and then Walid and Said stopped by the Hippodrome so that we could at least see it for a minute. Sean said that we went faster than any chariot that had ever been there! The wind was too cold to have Isaiah out. We so wish we could've stayed longer. We did get to see the triumphal arch. Being from a country where our history only dates back 250 years, it is unreal to walk through a house that is 2000 years old. I wish that I could some how see the history of where I walked today. We didn't have a guide, but it didn't matter... it was beautiful.
When we got back to Beirut, we didn't have electricity (they aren't supposed to cut it off on Sunday's... surprise!) so Sean and I walked down to Cafe Younes... but it was so crowded, we just walked back. Everyone took a nap except me. It seems as if the evening has flown by so quickly. Tomorrow we will finish our packing and go to bed early so that we will be rested for our travel. I can't believe our time here has gone by so fast.

Day 68

       Today was an interesting day. We were supposed to go to Byblos with Noah today, but we first had to go to immigration to get our exit visa. Once we got there we waited about 45 minutes before they called our names. Then we found out that we had to have more passport photos and copies of our passport and entrance visa for all 3 of us. So we left thinking we wouldn't be able to make it back today. But the Lord was so gracious. As we were walking out there was a soldier that spoke English and he directed us to a nearby place that took pictures and made photo copies. It was raining so we were trying to go quickly because we had Isaiah. As we walked passed the barricade and around the corner we weren't sure which building it was. Then a man standing out in the rain with an umbrella started waving us in his direction. He ran out in the rain and gave us his umbrella and asked if we needed pictures. Granted- he was the owner of the shop and we found out later that he had charged us 3 times what he should have!..(. it was sssoooooooo expensive.)... But the Lord is our Provider and we were thankful. Within 20 minutes we had everything we needed and headed back to immigration where we waited for another 45 minutes. They finally called our names again, took our paper work and told us to go have a seat and wait. So we did. It was passed time for Isaiah to eat, so a different soldier unlocked a bathroom for me to go in and nurse. When  I was finished we were told our paper work went downstairs. Once we got there we only had to wait another 20 minutes or so and it was done! What a relief! Although it was a lot of waiting and a long day... there were so many blessings. The soldier and the guy with the umbrella were two blessings... the fact that we got it done today without having to go back Monday and start all over is another.. and then 4th, Isaiah was so good the whole time! Even though he completely missed his nap and was late eating... plus having to just sit and wait... he was so good! He laughed and played and even fell asleep on me in the midst of a bunch of noise and people. The Lord was so gracious through it all.
      When we finally got home, we knew Byblos wasn't going to happen. But we didn't mind. We spent the evening fellowshipping with Noah, a brother whom we have come to dearly love. When you pray for missionaries... please remember to pray for Noah. He is a godly young man who is giving his life for the cause of Christ. I have never met a missionary more humble and committed to his calling. Pray for him often.
       Sean will be preaching in Tyre tomorrow. And we will be saying goodbye to Said and his family, which won't be fun. Then Lord willing we will come back to Beirut and prepare to come home. We have a few last minute things that need to be taken care of and some packing to do. Thank you for your prayers.

Day 67

Today seemed to be such a heavy day... does that make sense? Just a lot going on and a lot on my mind. Isaiah was fussy all day... not sure why... any of the zillion reasons.. gas?teething?tired? or maybe just because he could sense the stress of everyone else. Today I set aside the whole day just to get our stuff together and start packing.  Though it took all day,  I did get a great deal accomplished. It just seemed as though I had led in my shoes. Every task seemed laborious. But the Lord was gracious to me.  All our drawers and closets are empty. I have about 2 loads of laundry to do, but other than packing up those clothes and a couple of odds and ends like medicine, lotion, etc... We are packed. I know I've said this before, but my emotions are so mixed up. I am so excited about spending Christmas with our family..... and excited about everyone getting to see our big ol' boy... but at the same time, honestly, I don't want to leave. It was really hard saying goodbye to Xhitam and Lodi. My sadness does make me thankful that the Lord gave us relationships that mean so much. Tomorrow may be the last time we get to see Noah before we leave... that is going to be a hard one too.
 Anyway-  Xhitam's husband, Hamid, brought us dinner again tonight. He is a wonderful cook! Please continue to pray for them.  Today Sean went to get our visas stamped and they wouldn't stamp them without me and Isaiah being there. So we will have to go back in the morning. Also Sean went to the hospital today to have his leg checked out. Thankfully he didn't have a blood infection, but he did have an infection. They wanted to hospitalize him in order to give him antibiotics through an IV, but he talked the doctor into just giving him an oral antibiotic and she agreed. She said for him to take them until Sunday and then give her a call. If anything gets worse he was advised to go immediately to the ER. We are praying that the Lord would use the means of medicine to heal him. Sean is feeling good other than his leg hurting. We will keep you updated and would ask that you continue to pray.
All the pics were taken in the villages except for the two with other people. One picture is of me, sean, isaiah, and Lodi (our arabic teacher), the other is of me, isaiah, Xhitam, and her daughter Angie.

p.s. UPDATE : Remember the couple Jen & Jake that i asked you to pray for??? Well- the courts in Ethipia approved them to adopt. They are officially the legal parents of 3 Ethiopian children! Please pray for them as they prepare for their arrival! Praise the Lord for His faithfulness and for the journey!

Day 66

Today was another emotional day. My neighbor, whom I have grown close to, left this evening to go to her brother's wedding in Syria. She won't be back until after I leave. We got our dates mixed up. I thought we were going to have all this week together and she thought we would have all next week together. We spent some time together this morning and a little bit of time together this evening. I walk by faith.. not knowing what the Lord's will is for our return to Lebanon. I know that salvation is of the Lord. We must be obedient to plant the seeds, be He is the only One who can save. Her husband said that she had been a nicer wife since she had met me and been spending time with me. That was an honor. It shows me that in a small way.. even though there was language barriers that the Lord allowed them both to see something in me that was different... the love of Christ. Please pray for this family, the husband, wife, and 1 year old daughter.
We also said goodbye to our sweet friends, the Swifts, today. We spent some time with the husband and wife. We went downtown and had lunch and saw some of the Roman ruins. It is unbelievable to stand there and look at these columns and realize that they are the real deal... it is so crazy. There were people excavating some of the ruins... I wanted so bad to get down there and dig with them. What a cool job that would be! Yet our job is to dig into the Word of God and find priceless jewels that will never fade!
Please also pray for Sean. He had his insulin pump set in his leg. It went into the muscle and we are afraid that it may be infected. It looks like we are going to have to go to the doctor tomorrow. Please pray that the Lord will heal it. It is very painful. And an infection can be dangerous. Thank you for your love and prayers.

Day 65

Today was a good day.. but a sad one. Today was our last Arabic class. :o( I know I have mentioned it in past blogs, but our teacher, Lodi, has been such a blessing and encouragement. Her love for Christ permeates through her smile, her speech, her actions.... in every way. We were hoping to be able to go to church with her before we left, but it hasn't worked out. Today we sat and had coffee and fellowshipped, talking about the wonderful love and mercy of our Savior. Then we came back to Walid's to cram in as much as possible for us to study while we are in the States. I will miss her dearly. You know how sometimes you meet another believer and it is as if you have known that person your whole life? That is Lodi. So my prayer requests tonight are for her. Her husband and children are saved, but she has other family members that are not. They are nominal Christians, not true believers and they don't understand her faith. Pray that the Lord would give her grace and wisdom as she lives out the Gospel and shares it in their lives. Pray that the Lord would continue to use her for His glory. Most of all pray that the Lord would give her more of Himself. He is her all in all, her greatest joy and utmost desire... it is so evident in her life. I wish everyone could meet her! I am grateful that the Lord gave me such an opportunity.

Days 58-64

    After a long week it is good to be back in Beirut, although it is kinda sad to see this week come to an end. We left Beirut Wednesday and went to Tyre and stayed there until Saturday morning. Wed. - Fri. night we stayed at Said's with his family (Said was out of town). We mostly just hung out together, as he had the car so it left us without easy transportation. Thursday Hanan and I went for a bite to eat by the sea while Sean got the kids McDonalds. This was a treat for all of us! It was nice for us two moms to just sit and chat without a zillion distractions. The sea is so beautiful and the weather was really nice outside. Inside, however, the houses are quite chilly. They are all made of concrete so it holds in the cold like a refrigerator. Friday afternoon we babysat the youngest girl while everyone else was at work and school. Isaiah got to have his first real bath in 3 months! We give him sponge baths but we haven't had a bath tub for him to really splash in. (and the sinks aren't condusive for baths). Anyway- at first he didn't know what to do, but within 2 minutes he was splashing and laughing! Then I got a hot bath! Oh my! I just soaked in hot water... what a treat!
    Saturday morning we got up early and headed to another friends house, that lives in a village. This was our first time to see this village and it was so beautiful! I have some pictures that I will post tomorrow, but they won't do it justice. Beautiful mountains, valleys, and streams. They were grape vines, pomegranate trees, orange trees, pine nut trees, olive trees, fig trees, jasmine.....   Narrow, cobblestone streets  that winded through the village and houses that were 100-500 years old.... And lets not forget the castle.... a crusaders castle  from around 1300 AD. Unbelievable! I could have gotten a little apartment right then and there and never left! Our friends had a Christmas tree up and a wood burning stove. It was so cozy and comfy. Their children played with Isaiah and loved on him. It was so sweet. In the evenings we all gathered in the living room for devotion time. We all sang hymns and Christmas songs, then the man of the house opened the Scriputures.  After the kids went to bed, the adults stayed up, drank tea, and fellowshipped. What a blessing! What a gift from our Lord! Yesterday Noah and Sean were supposed to go out and visit some of the Beddouin villages but the family we were staying with got a truckload of wood (and i mean a truck load!). So the rest of the evening all the guys were unloading and stacking wood. Afterwards we all ate a big pot of homemade soup and continued with our nightly ritual.... adding brownies to the mix. We were supposed to come back to Beirut last night but the guys were so tired we stayed over again. This morning we left early and barely made it back in time for our Arabic lesson. Actually if our teacher had not been late, we would have missed it! Needless to say, our brains were mush for class. Today has been spent at the apartment. I cooked dinner and played with Isaiah. Now I am ready to go to bed at 8:30! I am exhausted... and I'm not even the one who loaded wood yesterday for 4 hours! There is so much we want to do this last week. Please pray that the Lord will give us wisdom on how to spend our time. It is definitely going to be hard to leave. There are people we have grown to love. Please pray that the Lord will give us wisdom on what the next steps are. Praise the Lord that He is the Light unto our path. We don't have to know exactly where the path goes, but we can trust that He will light each step of the way... even if it is only one step at a time. Our time here in Lebanon has been so wonderful. There have been ups and downs.. but I am SO grateful! Please pray that we will walk in obedience with joy and surrender.
 

Day 56

We are headed out for the next week! We are getting ready to leave and go south until next Monday night (i think).... Plans are crazy right now. It seems like we don't know what is going to happen or where we will be from one day to the next. We our looking forward to spending time with Said's family and Jonathon's family.
Arabic class was good today. We are really going to miss Lodi, our teacher. She has been such a blessing and an encouragement. We have really grown to love her!
We won't have internet for the next week, so I will see you guys next Tuesday!

Day 55

My Orders are to fight,

Then if I bleed or fail,

Or strongly win,what matters it?

Only God doeth prevail.

A Servant craveth not,

But to serve with might.

I wasn't told to win or lose.

My orders are to fight.

At this point, we are two weeks away from a return trip to the states.  We have been reviewing our time here to see what has been done and what remains to be done.  Have we accomplished that thing for which we were sent?  I suppose that only God can answer this but the above poem has been a source of encouragement.  Jessica has developed several contacts with at least one strong relationship of mention.  Our desire of course is that Christ will permeate the few available moments left and leave an eternal impression on this young woman and her family.  In addition, there are other girls who Jess has been in touch with who have yet to hear the gospel or understand the true Bride for whom Christ died (that is, genuine Christianity).

 

In the south there are at least two Palestinians who have faithfully attended the small evangelistic "church plant" in Tyre.  One of these walks several miles to attend and then walks miles back.  He is there every time the door opens.  At this point there does not appear to be a work of conversion in his heart.  If, however, there were a person of whom you looked at and their smile quickened hope within you that God may save this man, then it is Mohamoud.  He brings his children whenever possible and sometimes his reluctant wife.  Oh, did I mention that his family is muslim?  Praise God for hope and that hope has a name.  "I am the way, the truth, and the life.  No man can go to the Father, but through me." (John 14:6 paraphrase)

Today we had an Arabic lesson.  We have another tomorrow and then return to the south for about a week and this may be our last week in Tyre before returning to Beirut for our final lessons and then going home.  Please pray for us as we cement some of these relationships, that there may be some fruit to show, and that we would end our time here in a way that honors God the most.  --Sean Johnson

Day 53

How is it that your emotions can be so conflicting? Today me and Sean went to Xhitam's (my neighbor) house and visited with her, her husband, and his brother. Before we left, Xhitam took a ornament off of her Christmas tree and gave it to me and told me to put it on my tree in America so i wouldn't forget her. I want her to know the Christ of Christmas so badly. She says she is going to be sad when i leave... and so will i. I am so excited to come home and see my family... but at the same time I don't see how i am going to leave here... and leave these relationships. The reason i can leave is because i know that Salvation is of the Lord... not of me. I have plans to meet for the second time with another girl, Reena. Please pray for these women. i am so inadequate! I was speaking to a friend today about how i don't understand why my zeal for the Lord and evangelism isn't like it was when i was first saved. I had no fear to evangelize to anyone! I know how horrible of a sin it is to fear man. And I know that I am called to fear the Lord. I have talked to these women about Jesus.... but I havne't pleaded with them. Elzleen- my sweet accountability partner... I need your wisdom here! Again... Salvation is of the Lord!
Anyway- Sean preached at one church today and Walid preached at another. I stayed in Beirut with Isaiah. They both said that the Lord gave them grace. My time here was good. Just time in the Word and time with my son. Plus I had some food ready for the guys when they came home.....which was a good thing because they were stuck in holiday traffic for 2 1/2 hours! Isaiah is closer and closer to crawling. Today i thought he had it! He is soooo close! He just can't quite get moving forward! Also- for the past week or so he has been saying "dadadadada". I forgot to blog it when he started doing it... but Sean loves it of course! By the way... Jen- how much should a 7 month old eat? Isaiah is a pig! He is getting so big! Cuter everyday!

Day 51

While everyone in the states is out Christmas shopping on the biggest shopping day of the year, all the stores here are closed.  Today is a Muslim holiday and all the shops are closed. The streets are quite other than the occasional fireworks. It was a good day though. I baked a cake for our neighbor and took it to her. Then Sean and I went over and spent time with her and her husband. It was really good. The wife speaks a few words of English and we speak a few words of Arabic. So we use the few words we know and then the rest of the conversation is like a game of charades.  :o) But it is a lot of fun. We enjoy spending time with them. Please pray for them and pray for us as we strive to live out the Gospel.  Also- because the language barrier is difficult, sharing the Gospel is difficult. But we serve a mighty God! So we are looking forward to going back over there tomorrow.... looking for every way and every opportunity to talk about our Lord.

Day 50!!!

Happy Thanksgiving! Well- as missionary life goes.... our plans completely changed... again! But we are thankful... it was a wonderful holiday. This morning when didn't have electricity when we woke up so as soon as Isaiah woke up Sean and I walked to one of the big supermarkets to buy the remaining ingredients that I needed to cook. As soon as we got home we laid Isaiah down for a nap and the phone rang. It was a friend of ours that was in Beirut and was going to Tyre then returning to Beirut tonight. He said if we could be ready in 30 minutes we could ride with him. So we hurried up and packed a diaper bag and head to Tyre. I wasn't able to cook anything to take with us, but there was plenty of food anyway. I spent the day with another American missionary and Sean went and distributed food baskets and Bibles. Then when they returned we had a wonderful Thanksgiving meal... with Turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes, and pumpkin pie! What a treat! Isaiah had quite the Thanksgiving as well. He had mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie, and apple pie! He loved it!  Then we had a time of worship and fellowship. Our friend read the Abraham Lincoln's address to institute Thanksgiving as a national holiday in America. It was amazing to hear the President of the United States speak on the meaning of Thanksgiving. It truly was a day of thanks to the Almighty God, our Lord and Savior. Now we are back in Beirut, looking forward to a weekend of witnessing. Continue to pray for discernment in our last few weeks. Also pray for the relationships that the Lord has given us that we will be faithful to the opportunities given.

Day 49

Well- today started off with Arabic class.. .which is always good. And tonight Sean and I got to talk with several different people about Jesus.  I had plans to meet with one girl and then me & Sean met a guy from Ky. It is amazing  how people flock to Isaiah! We get so many opportunities because the Lord uses him. You can try to look for open doors and conversation starters... but with Isaiah we just go sit in a coffee shop and people swarm us. Then we they ask his name which means "salvation is from the Lord"... you automatically get to talk about Jesus. It was truly a blessing! A much  needed blessing considering we found out today that we aren't going to get to have Thanksgiving with Said and his family :o(   We were supposed to be having a big Thanksgiving dinner with Said and his family, Noah, and another family. But under difficult circumstances, we aren't going to be able to go. So we were kinda bummed. But the Lord reminded us today that we are here for Him. If we aren't willing to sacrifice our comforts, we aren't called to missions. So I'm going to cook for my Muslim neighbor and in the evening I'm meeting again with the girl I met with tonight. How wonderful to be able to share the love of Christ on Thanksgiving.... to share that the thing I am most thankful for in my life is the grace which was poured out upon me... a grace i don't deserve... but was so freely given to me. What a wonderful Thanksgiving gift to be able to share!

Day 48

Today, we were in Beirut for Arabic classes.  This may be hard to imagine but I'm really enjoying the language and I'm not necessarily one who enjoys language, especially one comparable to calculus.  Aside from that, it was a pretty quiet day.  There was one highlight worth mentioning.  In Lebanon, there are many foreigners (from Nepal, Ethiopia, the Philippines, etc.) who work as maids and get paid very little.  By "a little" I mean like $100.00 for one month's worth of work.  The contracts for these workers are many times loosely upheld and the maids are often abused in one way or another.  There is a brother here in Lebanon who works with the Nepalese women who have been arrested for breaking their contracts.  He is the official Nepalese representative for these women.  As such, he uses the position to distribute Bibles among them and minister in appropriate ways as the Lord may lead.  Tonight he brought one girl over so that we could pray for her and with her.  She is a Nepalese Buddhist and has never heard of Christ prior to this visit.  We only had a short time with her but she has the Word in her own language and we can hopefully revisit the gospel with her.  Next week, we are having a Bible study and are inviting some of the girls (detainees for lack of a better word)  to enjoy some gospel saturated food and fellowship.  We'll see what the Lord may do.

Jess visited our Syrian neighbor once again and seems to be building a good relationship with her.  Today, our teacher went with Jess for translation purposes.  Jessica mentioned the possibility of a women-only Bible study when we return.  Lodi seemed to be genuinely interested and offered to translate.  This would be a great ministry in this area especially for the Muslim women.  Again, we'll see what the Lord may do.
Also, Brother Walid returned very early this morning from speaking in Ireland and England for the last two weeks.  He has given a good report of his time away and it is great to have him back.  I hope this blog finds everyone blessed in their circumstances because of the Lord who is over all circumstances.  If not, then repent, believe, and trust in Jesus Christ.  We love you.  -Sean

Day 47

Ok- so I just spent a lot of time posting a bunch of pictures and for some reason this is the only one that posted. i will try again later. Anyway- today has been such a good day! I got to spend some time with two of my friends, my neighbor and Diana (the only reason i don't give my neighbor's name is because i have no idea how to spell it in english). Then Sean and I went for a walk while the electricity was off. After we had finished our errands we still had some time so we stopped into the sushi place for a few minutes. The Lord is so good! I talked with a waitress there for some time and she wants to get together again so we can talk about the Bible. She is was raised "Christian" but hasn't been to church in a long time. I am so excited about being able to spend some time with her. Please pray for her... her name is Reenee. Because I will be in Tyre the majority of the time, it is going to be difficult to spend a lot of time with her. Please pray that the Lord will guide us on how and where He wants us to spend the next few weeks. It seems like our time is going so fast and there is so much we still want to do! So many people we want to spend time with. It will be hard to leave. Thankfully we know that we plant seeds, but it is the Lord who will make them grow. I am so thankful to know that it is not based on my ability... but instead on our God who is Mighty to save!

Sean's afterthoughts: As you may be able to tell from Jess' comments, this was a good day.  It is a blessing of Providence when a conversation almost immediately turns to matters of faith and especially without some of the contrived and awkward segue ways.  I love it! 

Yesterday was an interesting day.  The Dunkin' Donuts close to the University is giving away free coffee in the mornings.  The condition is that you have to scream "I love Dunkin' Donuts coffee!".  They also have a video camera for the occasion.  It was worth it.  Brewed coffee is a rare treat and mine was freeeeeee!  The funny part was that later on that day I had to go to the local grocery.  There was a Nescafe (instant coffee) stand which was giving away small cups of Nescafe.  I gladly took my free cup and went about my business.  On the way out, I was asked by the Nescafe people if they could take my picture.  I happily did so as I drank my second cup of Nescafe.  This was in addition to the early DD coffee and other caffeinated goodies.  Today, I refrained from any caffeine after about 09:00.  Rough!  In any case, I am the new posterboy for coffee in Lebanon.  I'll follow up with a website.

For those interested in more spiritual matters, let me tell you that the Lord is stretching little introvert me.  In this place, relationships are key to sharing the gospel.  The mass evangelism and shotgun approach to sharing the truth of Christ will not work here.  You have to be intentional about building relationships and as honest as possible about your intentions.  Jess described the time at the sushi restaurant.  This was a relationship with one person who, after much has been invested, may or may not believe in Christ.  It is not distributing 500 Bibles on a college campus and weighing the odds that at least 10% will be saved through your efforts.  It is taking the time to articulate gospel truths and explain how this is lived out through a life changed by Christ.  It is walking through the streets and praying for opportunities to honor Christ through a providential encounter like the one at the restaurant.  There are seasons of much labor with little fruit to show for the work.  But, in the end, you have entertained angels as you speak openly and often of God's grace.  You have walked in obedience to the "great commission" given by our Lord and Savior.  We have shown that God really is who He says that He is and has done all that He said He will do.  In addition, maybe one more saint will be added to heaven's role.  Ahhhhhhh, God is so good.

Day 46

Happy Independence Day from Lebanon! Outside our window we have heard fireworks and people celebrating independence day. Inside we have been watching the Gospel of John. If you haven't ever seen it, we really enjoyed it. It is the only movie about Jesus that strictly follows Scripture. Isaiah is in bed and Sean and I are studying Arabic. Today was a productive day. We got the house clean for Walid's return tomorrow. I purchased ingredients for our Thanksgiving meal... which was not easy, by the way. I changed my mind a zillion times about what i was going to make. Every time i thought i had decided, i couldn't find all the ingredients for the recipe. Someone is already making the stuffing, mashed potatoes, pies, etc. My ideas that failed were banana pudding, green bean casserole, cranberry sauce, and sausage cornbread (a dish my mom used to make every Thanksgiving). I should have known I couldn't make the sausage cornbread... you can't buy pork here. Although "Christians" are allowed to eat pork, it is culturally it is seen as taboo. So i settled on baked mac & cheese and Elzleen's yummy chocolate cake. Sean had some funny adventures today... but he is going to write the blog tomorrow... so he will fill you in on those details later...
I have to say, I am so gonna miss my family for Thanksgiving... but I have so much to be thankful for. I cannot put into words how full my heart is when I say that I am thankful for my son. He is such a gift. Through Isaiah, the Lord has shown me Himself. He has used Isaiah to help me understand the Love with which He loves me. He has grown me as a woman and as a follower of Jesus. He has grown my love for my husband as I watch the Lord use Isaiah to soften and sanctify Sean. He has shown me my sin... how selfish and prideful I was... and He is sanctifying me. I am so thankful that He has given me the gift of being a mother... what a high calling... what a huge responsibility. It overwhelms me... it scares me... it gives me more joy that I can contain.
I am so thankful for my husband. As I watch him grow as a godly man, a godly father, a godly husband and a godly leader I fall more and more in love with him. The Lord uses him to challenge me and encourage me in my faith. He honestly makes me want to be a better wife and a better Christ-follower. I am so thankful to have him as the head of our family.
I am thankful that the Lord would choose to send us to Lebanon... to teach us, to sanctify us. If asked why we are here or why He would send me, my answer would come from 1 Timothy 1:15-16 "It is a trustworthy statement , deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all. Yet for this reason I found mercy, so that in me as the foremost, Jesus Christ might demonstrate His perfect patience as an example for those who would believe in Him for eternal life." His mercy is so rich that He can save the worst of all sinners. There is no man out of His reach. Eight years ago I was such a slave to my sin that I could not be free. It wasn't just the drugs and the immorality... my heart was black and cold. Yet in order to show His great mercy and perfect patience, the Lord poured out His blood and took the penalty for my sin. Without Him I would not have Sean, I would not have Isaiah, I would not have Hope, I would not have Life. My heart is so full when I say that I am thankful... yet I know that as long as I am on this earth... I can never be thankful enough...

Day 45

WHAT A DAY OF BLESSINGS! There was good news coming from everywhere today! First, I was able to spend some time with my neighbor today. Though we didn't have a translator, we were able to communicate fairly smoothly. I was thankful to be able to just sit with her. Second... my sweetest friend, Diane, called. For those of you who don't know her (you should!) she has muscular dystrophy. She is a woman of prayer and faith. I wish everyone had a Diane in their life! Anyway- She has to go to a specialist once a year to run tests to see how the disease has worsened. She went this week and when they did all the tests on her muscles... EVERY test they did showed that instead of her muscles deteriorating, they had ALL strengthened!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you know what a miracle that is?! Medicine or surgery can slow the process... but many times even surgery doesn't reverse it! But our Lord, the Great Physician, can!!!
Next is such good news from our friends John & Dez. They are some of our favorite people. We got to be very close when we lived in Alabama. They have 4 children that we love. They have been praying about adopting for some time now... but different circumstances made it seem as if it wouldn't be the right time. Then they were contacted 6 weeks ago about the possibility of adopting a soon-to-be born baby. Today they brought home the newest addition to their family... a healthy baby girl. Only the Lord can do that!!! If you or anyone you know has ever been in the adoption process, you know how heart-wrenching it can be. It can be such a long process, as it has been for our friends Jen & Jake (that i mentioned in a previous blog). Only the Lord can give you a newborn little girl in your own hometown as fast as 6 weeks. We have friends that were in the process for years! What a Loving Provider He is! It is all about His will and His timing. He could put anything before us at anytime, but it is not about what WE what or even what we think we need. It is about HIM! His will is perfect! Oh we of little faith! We think that if we don't get something right when we want it or exactly how we want it that the Lord has forgotten us. We need to learn..(when I say "we" I mean "I") (...and you!)to rest in His sovereignty.. His timing.. and His ability! What blessing I have received today through God working in the lives of those I love so dearly!
So tonight- my prayer requests are simply PRAISE the Lord God, our Healer, our Provider, and our Savior!!! What a mighty and merciful God we serve!

Day 44

It is only 6:30 pm here, so there is still some day left... but i had to go ahead and write! It has been quite the adventurous evening. Today Sean and I went to AUB (American University of Beirut). It is a beautiful campus. Honestly, the nicest college campus I have ever seen. We had a few errands to run and I had to go to the grocery. Then we came home and I made baby food for the next several days. This evening we went to Cafe Younes...which by the way has become one of our favorite spots. It is this great coffee shop that has been around for a long time (can't remember the exact year). I got the best hot chocolate I have ever had. Then we went to this really nice bookstore looking for a book that our friend Noah recommended. It had been a leisurely day... until we got home. On our way home from the bookstore, Isaiah started crying. Which is very odd for him. As long as we our outside walking, he is as happy as can be. We thought his teeth must be hurting him so we headed home quickly, because he was obviously not happy. We get to the door and when Sean pulls the keys out of his pocket, he realizes that he had picked up the wrong keys. So here we are in Beirut... Walid is in England... Said is in Tyre... and we don't even have our cell phone on us, we left it in the house. It is dark outside... the vegetable guy (who uses Walid's balcony for storage and has a key to the balcony) has already left for the day. WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? Sean is contemplating trying to kick in a 80 year old door with a big lock. Isaiah is crying and we can't do anything for him. Sean goes around to look at the windows... I'm not sure why because there are bars on all the windows so even if a window was open, it's not like we could get in. But then Sean looks in the front window where the office is. There on the desk, about 7 feet from the window, is the right set of keys. The window is unlocked and the screen slides open. I went next door to the butcher and he offered a broom. Of course the broom wasn't long enough... and it was too thick anyway. When I went back... the butcher remember something else he had... I still don't know what it was... but I know it was a gift God's grace. It was a long skinny pole with a hook on the end of it. I got it through the window... and thankfully it reached the desk. But I only had one shot. If I knocked the keys off the desk, or if I dropped them... the pole wouldn't reach the floor because there was furniture in the way. I tried several times, but I couldn't get the key ring around the hook. I almost knocked them off... it was so hard to maneuver because of the distance. Then when I almost knocked them off... the key ring flipped into perfect position. The hook fit perfectly right into the ring. Slowly I picked up the keys to make sure they were securely hooked. Then slowly pulled the pole past the desk, the chair, and another desk... and pulled them out... safely into Sean's hands. Yes that's right... Sean married a ninja!!!

Day 43

Today was such a blessed day! Sean and I had plans to go to AUB (American University of Beirut) but that didn't work out. Hopefully we will get to go tomorrow. Today Sean went with Said and Noah to the orphanage and Isaiah & I stayed home. Right after Sean left, we lost electricity so Isaiah and I went out and enjoyed the city. I'm pretty sure I lost about 10 lbs carrying my big boy all over Beirut! When we left the states a month and a half ago, he weighed over 19 lbs....and he has grown SO much since then. I'm not sure how much he weighs.. but he's not light! Plus we walked for about 2 hrs straight! But we had a lot of fun! I absolutely LOVE being a mommy! As we walked, him in a pack, we held hands... his little fingers intertwined with mine. I blessed beyond measure. His big ol' toothy grin makes my whole heart melt... and when he laughs my heart feels a joy that only the Lord could give. Being a mommy is such a gift... a gift that the Lord gives to the saved and lost. But to be a mommy in Christ... to truly know that motherhood is a gift that i don't deserve... to know that the love that i feel for my son, such an enormous love... is so small compared to the love that my Heavenly Father has for him, and for me. Oh the depth of His mercies! My heart is so full! His love is so great! There is no greater joy... than to be His! I would never have my dear husband Sean, much less our son.. if it wasn't for the Lord! If He had not brought me out sin, out of death... into Life. And to think... I don't deserve His grace, His salvation... but He chose to give it! His grace is more than enough... but then He blessed me with Sean and Isaiah. I am unworthy... HE is GLORIOUS!!! OH HE IS WORTHY OF OUR LIVES! Give it all to Him! His way is the only way... you have not tasted life until you have tasted His goodness! Blessed be the Name of the Lord!